Daring to divorce late in life

There is a sharp increase in divorce among those over 60. In 2021, there will be approximately 19,000 grey divorces, 3 times more than in 2011. The arrival of retirement is often the moment when we take stock of this life spent together. But, these days, sometimes the review turns into a divorce.

The time of the assessment

Life has taken us in its whirlwind for decades. Work and raising children have prevented us from asking ourselves the right questions. Indeed, are we really ready to go « until death do us part »? This can be scary, whereas at 20 years old, we were confident and life was smiling at us.

Of course we were ready to go all the way, but we didn’t count on the wear and tear of time, which led to the wear and tear of the couple. Many people have said to themselves: I don’t want to break up my relationship because I don’t want to traumatize my children. And then, we built so many things together like this house and our Retirement Savings Plans.

Retirement is often the trigger that brings about the time of reckoning. You are face-to-face and you realize that your paths have long since parted. Your professional activity was the last bastion against a life alone. So now what?

The act of acting

It’s time to retire and with it comes a radical change of habits. No more time constraints, no more reports of the work day and silence settles in between you. However, you don’t feel the weight of the years, you even want something new, a radical change.

And suddenly, the unthinkable crosses your mind: what if you were to make a fresh start? Nowadays, divorce is no longer a stigma. Besides, the children are grown up and have their own lives, their own couple. You feel young and need to see the admiration in your partner’s eyes. Your husband or wife doesn’t even look at you anymore. You are part of the furniture.

Your nights are incredibly quiet, yet you crave to crave. You want to feel that thrill and need to love and be loved. But what’s stopping you from reliving those emotions with someone else? Why not get a divorce?

What’s next?

It is common to hear that people in their fifties and beyond tend to behave like teenagers. They question themselves: Who am I? Who can I love? And many of them want to please again, to conquer new « prey ». They still have many years ahead of them and want to experience new things.

For decades, they have stayed with the same spouse for the well-being of the children and for a multitude of reasons that disappear with retirement. Sometimes the couple is torn apart and can no longer stand each other. It even happens that husband and wife have totally lost the habit of sharing things together. So they become roommates.

Nowadays, divorces among the over 50s show a desire for freedom among women to do a lot of activities, while men are mostly looking for a new companion.

Can we love again after 50 years?

Yes, fortunately, it is possible to find love again after fifty or sixty years or even more. People are less stressed and live their new relationships totally liberated. Issues such as children, social and work issues are gone: only the relationship matters.